How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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