my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize