I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
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