guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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