I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
