I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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