Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
