who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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