LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
