first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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