its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I checked into jail on foursquare
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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