My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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