my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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