the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
