Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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