How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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