Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
