Only a mothe r could love this liver
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
