You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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