How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize