So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize