Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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