some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Randomize
