you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
