There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
