pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
