so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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