OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
