y did u give ur computer a hand job?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
