just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
