oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
