your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
