If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
