She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The Olympian is in my bed
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize