dude i'm inner monologue high
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
