dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
