it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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