At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
