is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
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