Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
