This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
