you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
