Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
