Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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