I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
