just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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