i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Welp...herpes.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I supernannyed him into submission
I currently don't understand fingers.
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