I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
