Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize