My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
