I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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