i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
