I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
No...this little piggys going to the bar
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
