i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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