Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
