A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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