Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
