If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
