I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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