i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You're like the curious george of whores
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize