Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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