why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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