.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
