But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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