i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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