Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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