Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
