Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
