Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
