Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize