Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
