I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
