Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize