My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
