So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
