new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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