That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
