The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize